I work 3rd shift weekends at a hospital so my mind is usually fried by the time I get home, so I don’t know why I attempted to fill out some of the paperwork right after working a grueling shift. This is going to be tougher than I thought it would be.
First I started with the Enforce a Court Order to Pay Support paperwork. I am so overwhelmed! I have to go back and find the original order because I need the name of the judge that signed the order to pay support, I need the original complete wording of the order, I need the amount past due and the date that happened… the problem is, we’ve gone to court numerous times for this. So, do they want name of the original judge that ordered the support or the judge that signed the most recent document? How am I supposed to figure out as of what date he owes what money? He paid off and on until 2001 and then he stopped completely! After I figure out that whole mess I have to take it down to the court house, make tons of copies of it, and file it. The filing fee is $61.00, which I have to pay out of pocket, but in addition to that, the courst said there MAY be an appearance fee of up to $250. What?!
Then, I have to pay to have him served. I can either go to him and ask him to sign paperwork showing that I served him (ya, I’d rather have a root canal), I can send the papers registered mail, UPS, Fedex, something that will get his signature, I can serve him by Sheriff’s Office, or I can have a process server serve him. Again, all of this is out of MY pocket. I can ask the courts to order him to pay me for all these fees, but that will have no consequence to him. He still hasn’t paid me for all the other filings I did.
I am starting to wonder what use this all is. I know he doesn’t take this seriously at all. It’s just like that dumbass rapper DMX that keeps getting arrested in Phoenix. They keep letting him otu with a slap on the wrist and he keeps getting his ass arrested for other stupid things. This is exactly how they have dealt with Lonnie. He gets letters from DCSE saying that he owes and he ignores them. They sent him notification that his wages will be garnished so he doesn’t get a real job. They sent him a notice that they are going to intercept his state and federal tax return, but oops! He doesn’t work, therefore won’t file taxes. They say they will seize his assets, but that doesn’t matter because he has nothing in his name, even though he has a lot of things. Nothing is going to work with this man except for hard jail time.
But, of course, the state does not care.
I’m just so frustrated…
2 Comments
July 26, 2008 at 10:58 am
Just wondering- have you ever thought to serve him instead with papers to relinquish rights to his child & give your husband the option to adopt her since he is more of a father than the “donor”?
August 31, 2008 at 10:15 am
I bumped into this blog by accident some weeks ago, I don’t even remember what I was looking for. I was a bit horrified, but over my 66 years have learned generally not to waste my time on those who are determined to win the Darwin Award. But, those neat, little girls of yours kept entering my mind. And, I just spent 5 days in Cordoba, visiting two sweet little nieces. This has motivated me to write, though it contradicts my own experience to expect you to listen.
I am somewhat of an expert on child support issues; the good; the bad; and the ugly. I supplied counseling to more than 1,600 men and a few non-custodial women in the 80’s. I was the first person in our part of my state to have a copy of the official employees manual for CSRU.
You remind me of a woman I worked with before I retired. She came up to me and told me what a rotten, no good, dead-beat the father of her child was. He also had a statutory rape history; drugs; weapons; the whole ball of wax that you have reported. I asked her, “How can he get a job with that history?”
She said, “Oh, he can get a job anywhere.”
Oh, really? Like where? Would you recommend him to the hospital where you work? Would you want him working with you? No? Well, neither does anyone else.
There are places in the world who will take men with criminal records, especially involving sexual offenses. They are in two categories. S**t work at minimum pay. And jobs requiring extreme bravery and danger. He isn’t brave enough for the latter, nor is he going to be able to keep the first job more than two days.
However, your biggest error is fixating on the feminist term, “deadbeat”. This is a deliberate demeaning term used for political purposes, usually to increase percentages of income decreed for child support payments, since they know those who don’t pay are a total waste of time. CSRU knows very well there are few true deadbeats (men who can work but refuse to do so.)
Your life will be better if you stop using the term deadbeat to describe this guy, because that is not his problem.
Call him by the correct term. This guy is not a deadbeat; he is a stupid, worthless, piece of (crap), fit only for impregnating stupid young hormonal women like you were when you got pregnant by him. The world would be a better place if (crap) like this were converted to compost and fed to the roses. In fact, the Chinese do just that. After so many times in jail for nonsense like he does, they bulldoze a large hole, take this sort of (crap) out of prison, machine gun them, then run the bulldozer over the hole.
CSRU doesn’t bother with (crap) like him, because they know no matter how much they torture him, he will never be capable of working and paying. If you were allowed to sell that piece of paper that says he owes you $62,000, no intelligent person, including CSRU, would give you more than a dollar for it. The only way you will ever get your money is if he wins a large lottery, and they confiscate unpaid c/s.
Your second error is thinking only of what you are going to do to him. You need to stop and think of what he might do to you. If you give him hard prison time, and he gets gang raped by a bunch of black dudes, there is a chance when he gets out he will come ‘gunning’ for you. OJ Simpson’s ex-wife thought only of what she was going to do to him, with her conspiracy to take away his parental rights, but she is the one that is dead.
As I indicated, I really don’t care what happens to you, as such. But, I am very paternal and so I care what happens to those little kids of yours. Not only being in danger from a piece of (crap) that Mommy is trying to poke with a stick, but you are their Mommy, and they need their Mommy, not a substitute.
I think maybe you need some sort of therapy. You are hopelessly obsessed with that imaginary money, though even CSRU knows he is pure crap and any time and money spent torturing him is only lost time and money. You have a good man working two jobs for you yet all you can think about is that worthless piece of paper.
Give it up, thank God for the good man you have who is willing to work two jobs, and get on with your life.
If you think I am wrong, ask CSRU right out, in their experience with (crap) like this, how often does ANYTHING get them to work. Is this a waste of time, in their experience? I have been wrong before, and expect to be wrong again, but I will be surprised if they say they think they can get your $62,000 for you if they just poke with a stick enough times.